Jul 21, 2011
Dear Fans
“In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes…how do you measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee, in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife…? How About Love?”
Seasons of Love, Rent
It’s been a year since I joined el-live, 52 weeks of nonstop showtime with over 300 performances, where the parties don’t stop and audiences keep growing. What happens behind the scenes is kept tightly closed and any live mistakes not acknowledged. Yes live performance is based on ‘picture perfect’. It’s the thrill of getting it right, the frustration of not being on form, detesting any distractions, the controlling of consistency yet the wonder of doing it ‘just one more time’! But surely there has to be time for just ‘Lisa’ not just wholly focused on her as an artist?
This last year has been so much of what I expected and very much the unexpected as well. I probably take it all too seriously because it’s not just a job…it’s part of a very long journey I decided to do away from everything that is home to me. However, now I know that home was always within me to keep me grounded, level-headed and happy when I am everything but that.
From July-August 2010 was a sweat, panic, ironing out the hiccups, the fast-track learning curve of how-to-do what-to-do and when-to-do it. The show was 20 times faster than other shows I’d been in, so it was imperative to get my butt in gear and fast! September-December was bootcamp in learning to work diverse audiences of the extreme. Moving into 2011, January-February was the set-up, the preparation for the gig I’d visualized. March-May was incredible, challenging, the glory and I wanted more of it. However, June and July have not been as good months for stage-life; I have cried a million tears of ‘I quit’, ‘I can’t do this’, ‘I want to go home’…my personal life has caught up with me, the loneliness kicked in, and inevitably am now sitting with a box of tissues nursing a nasty cold. You see all I have done is protest for seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, a year that I have no time for months like June and July as ‘the show must go on’!
But honestly, in these last two not-so-sunny months I actually felt growth on a personal level for the first time in years. I left home from a young age and always been self-sufficient, never really needed anyone else’s opinion in making decisions, and always bounced back on my own. It’s not been the case this time. The night I cried all the way through singing ‘Love The Way You Lie’ to the audience in Xiu, I bared my soul through that song, those were real crocodile tears! And it brought me back home, to the real me, who I really am and to what I want to be. That is, that I will always perform from my heart, not that I stopped doing this, but it really reinforced that I am not programmed to sing or perform any other way. My family, friends and loved one, with their ongoing support and strength, are the people that have pulled me through this journey. I really could not have done this without them and realise it is okay to be a little dependent now and again! Their encouragement, strength, patience, kindness and love have been unending during all the highs and lows and I am so grateful to have them in my life. They have put me back on track, rebuilt my faith and helped me to channel new energy. And to the people in the audience (including fans from afar) that have approached me at the show expressing kindness and excitement about what I do – thank you, it really does mean a lot to me.
“In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes…” In phonecalls, sms, photos, videos, blogs, shopping sprees, international banking trips, friendships, love, gym sessions, vocal warmups, rehearsals, performances, tears, laughter, fears, adrenaline highs…these four words really sum up my life in this year: Love, Energy, Attitude, Delivery.
I’ve seen a lot of musicians come and go in various jobs for various reasons but the ones that persevere are those much to be admired because they worked that hard for it, regardless of the challenges. A friend from the UK I’ve got to big up is – Juan Zelada, http://www.juanzelada.com – for being an unsigned songwriter on BBC2’s radio playlist…a massive achievement…well done and keep rocking honey!
With one month left in Xiu Bar, ….Beijing ….and another few months on the road to go…here’s to the next chapter!
Remember! Share some love…we’re nothing without it and yes it’s the only way :>
LT
XXX